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Chorley Groups Favorite Car Puns & Dad Joke

Dad jokes. They’re fantastically awful, hard to stomach and just hard to listen to at times. Let us rephrase, all the time. They have a special place in the world and, by fatherhood law, they HAVE to be told.

For those veteran dads, new dads and potential dads, here is Chorley Groups favorite car dad jokes to get you through the next few hours of father’s day

  • What do hospital’s and Chorley Group have in common? They both have car-deal-ologists
  • Hit a pothole today and blew out a tire today... Ba-Dum-Bum-TSS
  • What did the traffic light say to the car? “Turn your head while I’m changing!
  • Where do canines park their cars? In the barking lot.
  • You should get a job at a transmission repair shop. I’m sure you’ll get used to the early-morning shifts.
  • Wish I could park my car in the garage. Too bad there’s just not enough vroom
  • You know what really grinds my gears? Clutch failure.
  • I really need to get my car fixed. What body shop to you wreck-amend?
  • Why can’t motorcycles do pushups? Because they are always Two-Tyred
  • What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? “Robin, get in the car.”
  • I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
  • Why couldn’t the cow cross the road? Because the cars were MOOving too fast.
  • Why can’t cars play football? Because they only have one boot.
  • What sound does a witch’s car make? Broom Broom!
  • Why are pigs such bad drivers? Because they Hog the road
  • My relationship with my chauffeur just isn’t going anywhere. It feels like he’s always trying to drive me away.
  • What do you get when you put a car and a pet together? A carpet.
  • What do you call a vampire who can lift up cars? Jack-u-la.
  • What did the car say when it saw its reflection? “Wax on, wax off!”
  • Why did the car go to therapy? – It had too many breakdowns.
  • What do you say to a frog who needs a ride? “Hop in.”
  • My car was stolen. I was stuck with just my phone, No Kia!
  • Do you know any car puns? No, not wheely
  • Why are race car drivers the best at giving dating advice? They’re trained to look for red flags.
  • What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m about to change.
  • Why did the washing machine schedule a test drive? Because he wanted to go for a spin.
  • How does a German cowboy say hello? Audi
  • What’s a car’s favourite meal? Brake-fast
  • What do you call a guy who has lost his car? Carlos.
  • What kind of snakes are found on a car? Windscreen vipers

For those who have to listen to these jokes, we are truly sorry!

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